Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice Gone Wrong: a rant about silent irritations.

29 09 2012

No sugarcoating, here’s the deal: we’re young, sometimes angry and we rarely talk about what we feel. By that I don’t mean the organized, double spaced kind of emotional expression, with a deadline attached to it. No, I mean the basic on-the-spot anger.

There are some specific kinds of situations where you’re expected to lay back and keep quiet. Sudden misogynist joke, half-serious homophobic statement, some sort of mocking comment about something we feel passionate about, etc. There’s plenty of material to choose from. We’re surrounded by things we’re not supposed to be openly honest about, unless other people do so first. Not rude, but honest.

One of the first problems, the root of all evil, is that our generation supports indifference. Caring isn’t cool, it’s better to have a sarcastic comment about everything and it’s ok to be unmotivated, who needs passionate attitude towards life when we’re all ~smart individuals~ who ~struggle with the society and the weight it lays on our frail shoulders~ on a daily basis? First of all, welcome to the real world. Second of all, caring is the coolest thing ever, forever. So when someone who happens to be of the male gender comments on something that involves mostly the female part of the community (that you happen to be part of), go ahead and get angry.

Things that made me frustrated recently: “Rihanna deserved it”; “slut-walkers should be ashamed”; legitimate rape and its magical consequences; “no more Oreos for me, because of (gasp!) The Gay Advertisement”; “Women should not be allowed to do abortion because I said so”- random dude. The list goes on and it includes Jane Eyre, girls who have these cults where they worship each other and take pictures in the mirror and I will stop here.

I dare you; I double dare you to make a list like the one above. Thank me later.

Truth is, honesty can be misinterpreted for rudeness. And it usually is. And you get scared and you keep it inside. No need to spoil everyone’s evening with a feminist comment, eh? Blend in, laugh and rant later. You go guys, keep up the good work, talk behind backs, smile and say nothing at all. Good job, y’all. There goes your trophy and the title of ‘Miss Too Good for This’ and “Mister I Don’t Care’. Meanwhile, for the rest of us I have prepared a list.

1)     Care. Self-explanatory. Accept it and acknowledge the responsibility. Defeating ignorance is arguably the next best thing to post-break-up ice cream.

2)     The impact (or lack of?). Is the person worth it? Was her/his statement a simple blurt made out of ignorance or purposeful desire to piss people off? There’s two types of people: type A) considerate of different options and opinions or type B) a fixed I’ve-been-taught-this-was-leave-me-be. No need to struggle against the wall.

3)     Humor. Don’t force it. Basically try not to make the person look like a fool, present your perspective instead (hard to do with the pancake-make-up-bimbos but still manageable)

4)     Question. ‘You’re wrong and I hate you’ used to work when life was simple and the moon was made out of cheese. The method that works the best is (ta-dah!), the question. ‘What do you mean by that?’; ‘Do you know that’s actually sounds offensive?’, etc. Justifying your peculiar sort of homophobia/ sexism/ racism/ whatever-ism is very frustrating business. Bonus: extra time to think of a comeback.

5)     Don’t be ashamed. Unless you’re purposefully hurting someone. Mother Nature gave you a mouth; life filled it with words, might as well do something useful about it. A little burn in your stomach is your cue that THOU SHALT SPEAK. So, yeah, do that. It’s all about ~facing fears~ and dealing with life and becoming this big honest person. After supposedly you’ll become a successful person with lots of good things happening (bad too: honest straight forward girls have this lovely descriptive word attributed to them all the time that starts with ‘b’ and ends with ‘itch’. OH WELL). Honesty is pathological if used correctly. You can make thing happen. You have this power. Use it, and use it well. And don’t treat it like something unordinary. The idea that blunt truth is frowned upon is past vintage and already in the ancient era of morals, move on. Say it, dammit.

6)     Don’t preach. Don’t try to ‘convert’ everyone. You’re entitled to your own beliefs and so is everyone else.

7)     Don’t laugh. As simple as that. ‘I am not amused’.

8)     If they say ‘Chill. It’s a joke’ just punch them in the face. Seriously. And then belly-dance your way out of the room singing ‘Here I go again’ by Whitesnake. Go hard or go home.





How should the Roma be integrated in Romania using the principles of WEB DuBois and/or Booker T. Washington?

29 09 2012

Roma people: every Romanian person seems to have his very own passionate or passive-aggressive opinion about them. Every Romanian citizen will bring forth examples of their own experiences with them, and the endless ways these Roma People have wronged them and how they, as a whole race, are inferior to the whole gloriousness that Romanian nation presents in its current state. Roma people are the black hole we throw every complaint into: the blame for the situation in the country, our position in the world, the credibility, the economy, the condition of the city, etc. The question is: does this reputation come as a discriminatory legacy or is there a ring of truth to it? And if there is, and if their reputation if it’s true, how can we fix this situation?

  On one hand, Roma people have just the same rights that every other Romania citizen has, so there’s no civil rights to be demanded on their behalf. However, what makes them disrespected by Romanian people is their lack of willingness to do anything. Their contempt and lack of motivation to improve their living condition and to fight for this country, to leave something good for the future generations is one of the characteristics most of Romania people will mention when describing their dislike towards them. They simply live in this country; they do not belong to it, and not because of some social barriers created on no grounds, but rather on the self imposed state of social exile that was part of their national heritage since the beginning of time. Roma people have a history of freedom and social disadvantage for a long time: society did not accept them for they had no desire to be chained to anything or anyone, including homes, jobs or money: They did not have to fight for their freedom, because their view on ‘freedom’ was different that the view of others, meaning that they did not need the society to be content with it, for freedom was their life. This lifestyle has latter been a reason of irrational torture, especially during the Holocaust, which made their development even slower and harder, even impossible in some cases.

This leads to the other side of the argument: does the right to do a thing include within itself the circumstances to do so? Will the right to get free education and right to vote provide people with the push from behind to do so? We can see that it doesn’t necessarily. In Roma communities, girls raised in miserable conditions and treatment get impregnated at an early age, and any sort of escape seems too brave and naïve to consider. The right to create a future is just a bitter joke that Roma people have chased laughing at, and Romanians have never found funny to begin with. Born with the idea that no bright future awaits them, Roma people find no motivation in trying to communicate properly with the white folk. Why earn the respect of someone living a parallel life, unbothered by the daily struggles a Roma has to deal with? Romanians look at them and see bugs crawling in mud, but they do not realize that they DO crawl towards something far, far away, and that the reason they are slipping down and making to progress is because the ground that supports them is unstable and hostile and unlikely to help their cause in anyway.

So, under the circumstances, what shall one do? Is it a question for each individual to consider, or for a whole ethnicity to decide? Honestly, the approach to this issue need to be a slow but persistent one: slowly and patiently both races need to approach a stage, a compromise equally good for both sides, so that in the end they will support each other and make the country a better place, for nothing makes a country more unstable than a struggle within itself. Romanians need to acknowledge the skills Roma people have and can master under the right conditions, and Roma people need to work harder to grow themselves into their potential, their very own best. That’s why Booker T. Washington was right: the road is hard and the weather is difficult, but creating a new path to the destination might not be the right decision, for more loss the walkers will bear when walking on unknown, forestry roads, unprepared for the physical involvement of it all than those who gain power by walking and not stopping on the road which leads precisely to where they want to arrive and are supposed to be, to belong.