Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice Gone Wrong: a rant about silent irritations.

29 09 2012

No sugarcoating, here’s the deal: we’re young, sometimes angry and we rarely talk about what we feel. By that I don’t mean the organized, double spaced kind of emotional expression, with a deadline attached to it. No, I mean the basic on-the-spot anger.

There are some specific kinds of situations where you’re expected to lay back and keep quiet. Sudden misogynist joke, half-serious homophobic statement, some sort of mocking comment about something we feel passionate about, etc. There’s plenty of material to choose from. We’re surrounded by things we’re not supposed to be openly honest about, unless other people do so first. Not rude, but honest.

One of the first problems, the root of all evil, is that our generation supports indifference. Caring isn’t cool, it’s better to have a sarcastic comment about everything and it’s ok to be unmotivated, who needs passionate attitude towards life when we’re all ~smart individuals~ who ~struggle with the society and the weight it lays on our frail shoulders~ on a daily basis? First of all, welcome to the real world. Second of all, caring is the coolest thing ever, forever. So when someone who happens to be of the male gender comments on something that involves mostly the female part of the community (that you happen to be part of), go ahead and get angry.

Things that made me frustrated recently: “Rihanna deserved it”; “slut-walkers should be ashamed”; legitimate rape and its magical consequences; “no more Oreos for me, because of (gasp!) The Gay Advertisement”; “Women should not be allowed to do abortion because I said so”- random dude. The list goes on and it includes Jane Eyre, girls who have these cults where they worship each other and take pictures in the mirror and I will stop here.

I dare you; I double dare you to make a list like the one above. Thank me later.

Truth is, honesty can be misinterpreted for rudeness. And it usually is. And you get scared and you keep it inside. No need to spoil everyone’s evening with a feminist comment, eh? Blend in, laugh and rant later. You go guys, keep up the good work, talk behind backs, smile and say nothing at all. Good job, y’all. There goes your trophy and the title of ‘Miss Too Good for This’ and “Mister I Don’t Care’. Meanwhile, for the rest of us I have prepared a list.

1)     Care. Self-explanatory. Accept it and acknowledge the responsibility. Defeating ignorance is arguably the next best thing to post-break-up ice cream.

2)     The impact (or lack of?). Is the person worth it? Was her/his statement a simple blurt made out of ignorance or purposeful desire to piss people off? There’s two types of people: type A) considerate of different options and opinions or type B) a fixed I’ve-been-taught-this-was-leave-me-be. No need to struggle against the wall.

3)     Humor. Don’t force it. Basically try not to make the person look like a fool, present your perspective instead (hard to do with the pancake-make-up-bimbos but still manageable)

4)     Question. ‘You’re wrong and I hate you’ used to work when life was simple and the moon was made out of cheese. The method that works the best is (ta-dah!), the question. ‘What do you mean by that?’; ‘Do you know that’s actually sounds offensive?’, etc. Justifying your peculiar sort of homophobia/ sexism/ racism/ whatever-ism is very frustrating business. Bonus: extra time to think of a comeback.

5)     Don’t be ashamed. Unless you’re purposefully hurting someone. Mother Nature gave you a mouth; life filled it with words, might as well do something useful about it. A little burn in your stomach is your cue that THOU SHALT SPEAK. So, yeah, do that. It’s all about ~facing fears~ and dealing with life and becoming this big honest person. After supposedly you’ll become a successful person with lots of good things happening (bad too: honest straight forward girls have this lovely descriptive word attributed to them all the time that starts with ‘b’ and ends with ‘itch’. OH WELL). Honesty is pathological if used correctly. You can make thing happen. You have this power. Use it, and use it well. And don’t treat it like something unordinary. The idea that blunt truth is frowned upon is past vintage and already in the ancient era of morals, move on. Say it, dammit.

6)     Don’t preach. Don’t try to ‘convert’ everyone. You’re entitled to your own beliefs and so is everyone else.

7)     Don’t laugh. As simple as that. ‘I am not amused’.

8)     If they say ‘Chill. It’s a joke’ just punch them in the face. Seriously. And then belly-dance your way out of the room singing ‘Here I go again’ by Whitesnake. Go hard or go home.